Saturday night I, donned in my fanciest garb, had dinner in a Panda Express with four girls wearing prom dresses. That’s one of the perks of joining a dance team. Plus, you learn what to do when thrust onto a dance floor at weddings and such. Earlier in the evening I tangoed to the Pirates of The Caribbean theme, and even with the farcical music choice, I felt quite fabulous.
The requirements for this project are: you must mention everybody’s name, age grade, major, and something else (maybe a greatest fear, or some cool fact)
It’s a house party. The only props we had were Solo cups and a guitar, though I substituted a bottle of sweet tea because I was the DD. There are girls standing and sitting around a guy gently picking at a guitar. Most of the girls are ogling the guy. There are two people standing away from the group, gesturing and miming conversation.
-Connor is walking past the party; Alec sees him, approaches, and begins a conversation-
Alec: What’s up dude, Connor my man!
Connor: Uh, hi, who are you?
Alec: I’m Alec. (Connor looks confused). A sophomore. (Connor still doesn’t know who he is) I went white water kayaking in the Rocky Mountains for 2 weeks! (Conner remains perplexed)
Connor: Wait, whats’s your major?
Alec: I’m undecided.
Connor : *smiling* Oh yeah, I remember you, what’s up?
Alec: Just hangin’ out. (Alec hands Connor a cup of punch) Here, have some punch that my boy Terry made for us.
Connor: Who’s Terry?
Alec: My theatre teacher.
-a moment passes-
Connor: What’s his major?
Alec: Theatre. That’s the best major! (Guitar stops, everyone gives Terry a thumbs up). Hey man, let me go introduce you to everybody.
-They walk over to the two guys standing apart from the guitarist-
Alec: Yo, these are my pals Noah and Michael.
Connor: *shakes hands with both* Hello, I’m Connor. I’m a junior and a management major.
Noah: *sarcastically* Is there anything else you wanna tell us about yourself?
Connor: I once saved a woman from a burning building.
Noah: *blinks with raised eyebrows*
Alec: But bro, this guy, Noah, he’s an Eagle Scout.
Michael: And I play Frisbee for UT.
Connor: What’re y’alls major?
Connor: Oh, y’all must be freshmen.
Noah & Michael: *grin and shrug*
Alec: Noah, man, why aren’t you drinking this Terry Juice?
Noah: I’m the DD.
Brian: Well, I don’t know if you want to be drinking it anyway, this Terry Juice tastes kind of weird.
Alec: *over-the-top slurring words and stumbling* I don’t know what you’re talking about man, I feel great!
-the conversation stops for a moment and the only noise is the guitar-
Connor: Who’s the guy with the guitar?
Alec: That’s, uh, guitar guy. He just kind of shows up at every party. I don’t really know who he is.
Connor: Hey, GUITAR GUY! What’s your major?
Guitar guy: Undecided.
One of the girls ogling the guitarist: *in a lovestruck manner* That’s Brian, he’s a freshman with his own YouTube channel, and he’s my boyfriend.
Another girl ogling the guitarist: *haughtily* No, that’s MY boyfriend!
-both girls stand up-
First girl: Who are you?
Second girl: I’m Caty. Who are YOU?
First girl: Alexa.
Caty: You’re just a lame freshman.
Alexa: You may be a sophomore, but I climbed the Alps.
Caty: Well I’m Miss Knoxville. *gives the audience a fabulous fashion-show pose*
Connor: Hey, what’s y’alls majors?
Caty: *glances at Alexa like “what’s with this guy”* Uh, Business Administration.
Alexa: *shrugs like “I have no idea”* Finance.
Connor: *nodding* Those are cool majors.
Brian: *slowly, smoothly, seductively, erotically* Ladies, ladies, calm down. There’s enough of me to go around. Sit down, I’ve got another song for you. I wrote this one over the summer. I dedicate it to Terry Juice. *impromptu toast* It’s called… “Water”.
-He begins playing the same song-
-A gaggle of girls wanders over to Alec-
Elizabeth: (Elizabeth, Margo, and Jessica are all together)
First girl: Um, excuse me, is this terry juice vegan? Because I’m a vegetarian.
Alec: *grinning and swaying* Well hey there ladies, what’s y’alls name? *puts his free arm around two of them, leaning on them heavily*
First girl: I’m… Elizabeth.
Second: I’m Margo.
Third: My name’s Jessica.
Alec: *takes a long swig of Terry Juice* So, how old are y’all?
Elizabeth: I’m a freshman.
Margo: I’m a sophomore.
Jessica: I’m a freshman.
Alec: No, no, like… *hiccups* How OLD are you?
Alec: *points at Jessica* Uh, you, go away.
Jessica: What- really? Just because I’m not 18 you’re not going to talk to me?
Alec: *nods* “Yup.”
Jessica: *offended* “Well fine then, I shouldn’t be drinking much more of this stuff anyway because I have softball practice tomorrow. I’m just going to meet everyone else here like a good Communications major then I’ll buzz off. *marches away*
Connor: *Grinning, sticks his head between the two girls currently under Alec’s arm* So, what are your majors?
Alec: Don’t, don’t worry, he just… has a thing with majors.
Elizabeth: Well, since I’m a freshman I’m still undecided.
Margo: I’m a retail major. Duh. No wonder my outfit is on point.
Elizabeth: Hey, is this punch vegan?
Alec: I guess Terry Juice is vegan? Yeah, yeah, it’s whatever you want it to be.
Margo: *steps away from Margo and stares at her* Elizabeeeeeeth, Elizabeth THERE ARE LIZARDS ALL OVER YOU I AM HORRIFIED OF LIZARDS WHY ARE THERE LIZARDS EVERYWHERE *hyperventilating*
Elizabeth: Let’s go sit down, this Terry Juice is getting to you. *guides Margo into the corner where Margo lays down and passes out*
Alec: *rushes over to Margo and poses with a cell phone. SELFIE, THIS IS GOING TO VOL BLACKOUT! *jumps up* HEY GUYS LET’S GO TO COOKOUT! WE’RE GOING TO COOKOUT! YOU DRIVIN’ US NOAH?!
-Everyone looks at Noah-
Noah: *looks around at the inebriation* Duh.
-Everyone except Noah crowds together and starts chanting COOKOUT! COOKOUT! COOKOUT! The chanting slowly fades and everybody slowly falls to the floor-
-Noah nudges Michael’s side with his foot; a long moment passes as he stares at everybody-
Noah: DAMN IT TERRY!… You spiked the punch.